I\’m going to tell you why I\’m going to leave you for your best friend. I\’ve been spending a lot of time with him while you sit at home with your pathetic hand and a box of tissues to keep you company. You\’re so pathetic! He\’s hot, successful, muscular, confident, charismatic and wealthy and you… well you are none of those things. You\’re lucky I\’ve kept you around for so long, but your time is running out cucky, your best friend is too good in bed to just have him once in a while. I want him all the time now. I\’m going to really enjoy watching you sob your heart out as I cruelly leave you for your real-man buddy. But don\’t waste all those tissues on your tears cucky, because from now on they\’re your only sex-life.
